the trouble began when i mentioned buying a bidet attachment. i thought it was a completely ordinary bathroom decision. my boyfriend reacted as though i'd proposed knocking down a load-bearing wall and replacing the bathtub with a tropical lagoon. he asked who needed this, why, and whether the toilet was becoming a luxury resort.
i showed him the TUSHY Classic 3.0, a non-electric bidet attachment that adds a water-spray cleaning option to an existing compatible toilet. he stared at the pictures for so long i thought he'd discovered a secret blueprint. then he started asking how visitors would react. i suggested they might react by using the bathroom, which was its intended purpose.
his objection changed three times. first it was too fancy. then it was unnecessary. then he worried that the entire family would start visiting to try our futuristic toilet. he said nobody would ever need that level of hospitality. i told him our bathroom wasn't opening a membership program, and there would be no velvet ropes outside the door.
after all that arguing, he became the person most interested in reading the installation instructions. i still haven't recovered from the whiplash. somehow the man who called the attachment ridiculous was now debating water-pressure settings with the seriousness of a space agency engineer. i told him the toilet had won the relationship. he asked whether it could also fix the dripping tap.
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